"Greater power" vs "It´s only me"

I´m an only child, so I have an inmense hunger for belonging. So much, that I am capable of becoming someone I´m not just for the "belonging rush". For me, it´s never inbetween, it´s hard for me to be neutral. Being there makes me feel apathy. Either I pull or I push, but I can´t stand in the middle. 

The idea of a greater power always left me feeling powerless, as if I had no saying in what happened in my life. And the idea of only me having the power eventually weared me down, becoming emotionally and fisically tired. I like the idea of having guides for they help you shed light on the path, but only you have the power. It hasn´t been working lately, so I´ve been feeling...

And one day I read "we are the co-creators of our existence." and my heart jumped. I thought maybe, just maybe, if I am a co-creator of my own existence, I should maintain an open line of communication with my associate. This is kinda like being in the middle but with power in my hands and it feels great. I feel the belonging rush and the power.

So I opened the door, sat quietly and waited. The line is open, just in case you wanna call.